What’s the Point?

What’s the point? That was the question I continued to ask myself. What is the point in waking up at 4:30 every day to write a blog post that very few people read? Honestly, as I sit here this morning in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, I still don’t have the answer. All I know is that I woke up this morning at 3:13 am and as I lied awake in bed I kept hearing a little voice inside my head say “wake up, work out, and go write something.”

I wish I could say that I always listen to that little voice but the truth is, I don’t. In fact, most often, I find myself ignoring it altogether.

I am glad to say that this morning was different. Though it took me over 90 minutes to realize that I was done sleeping and actually put my feet on the ground, I am grateful to myself for doing so.

Like many people, the last few weeks have been a mixed bag of emotions for me. My mind has traveled through both the land of optimism and despair. I have watched my fair share of Netflix and read plenty of headlines. I have been a light of optimism and at times, brought those around me down.

It seems like I am a deer caught in headlights and I am just not sure which way to run. As I look around and read the stories, there are plenty of people that have it far worse than me. In fact, I would say that I have it pretty darn good. I have a career, a roof over my head, food in the cupboards, and a family that loves me. So then, why is it that I feel so depressed? And why do I feel so guilty for feeling this way?

Since I don’t have the answer to that question, I’m just going to say that whatever it is that you or I am feeling, those feelings are real, and trying to suppress them will only make our negative feelings grow stronger.

Maybe the real reason for waking up and writing each day is so that I have an outlet to express how I feel inside. Even if no-one else reads what I write and the words make no sense, writing it out, seeing it on my screen, and admitting how I am feeling, has actually already made me feel better.

As is most often the case, we already know what we need to do to move forward but we are just not doing it. For me, I’m ready to begin trusting that little voice inside my head again by waking up early and following a set daily routine that includes writing, even if what I write has no purpose.

How about you?

Have a great day!