You Can’t Help Those that Won’t help Themselves


The Healing Pool

Today’s topic is something that I have personally struggled with a great deal. Often times in coaching you meet people in search of a solution to their problems. Their problems may be financial, physical or maybe they are like me and looking for a way to escape a life without passion.  Whatever their reason may be, when you meet one of these people, you listen to their story and attach yourself to their situation. After hearing them out, you absolutely know that your product/service or opportunity is the answer to their prayers. What hurts, is when they don’t listen to the solution that you offer them even when they know that the ideas you have presented them with are exactly what they had been searching for. Instead of moving forward with a plan, they fall back on one or more excuses, sighting their excuses as the reason why they will remain in the situation they so desperately want to eliminate.

After years of struggling with my inability to help those that shared their pain with me, I brought my concerns up to my life coach. After listening to my frustration, she shared the following story with me. It comes from the Bible. What I have learned, is that regardless of your religion or your beliefs, when understood, there is much wisdom in the stories of the Bible. Even if you don’t share my beliefs in God, I still encourage you to listen to the following story. The passage comes from the Book of John, Chapter 5, verses 1-8. It is titled, “The Healing at the Pool”.

The Healing at the Pool

1Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals. 2Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. 3Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. [4] 5One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. 6When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

7“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

8Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” 9At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

If you are like me, when you first read this passage, you may have assumed that the story is about the powers that Jesus had to heal the sick. As a person that felt disenfranchised by religion for many years, stories like this would have had little impact on me. However, in this situation, as my coach was sharing it with me, she helped me understand the powerful symbolic meaning of the scripture. Please allow me to do the same for you.

Starting with verses 1 and 2, we read that there is a pool in Jerusalem that is surrounded by five covered colonnades. In verse 3 we learn that near the pool were many disabled people. Those people were blind, lame and/or paralyzed.

Let’s pause here for a moment and consider the figurative meaning behind what we have just read. At this point we know that there were five covered colonnades (a row of columns supporting a roof), and that there are a great deal of disabled people lying near the pool. In the figurative sense, these are the people in your life that always have something going wrong in their life. They seem to always be complaining about their health, their job, their marriage, their finances or one of many other problems they simply can’t seem to rid from their life. Of these people, there are the blind, figurative translation, those that can’t see the solution, though the answer is right in front of them, just like the pool is right in front of all the disable that lay around it. The lame, those who know what to do but feel as though they lack something, knowledge, a skill, a tool or the financial wherewithal to do it. The last group are the paralyzed, those that have all they need. They know exactly what to do to move beyond their current situation, but they are frozen, like a deer caught in headlights and, for whatever reason, they can’t take the necessary actions to move forward.

As we continue, in verse 5, Jesus sees a man that had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. It doesn’t say that the man was 38 years old, the verse just states that he had been an invalid for 38 years. The significance of this is that 38 years is half of a human life, for half his life this man has struggled with his issue(s).

In verse 6 Jesus asks the question, “Do you want to get well?”. This may be the single most important thing to remember when offering someone your assistance. No matter how badly you want to help someone, regardless of the circumstances that they are in, you can NOT help them if they don’t want to get better. Fact is, some people just want to complain about their circumstances, they have little desire to fix them. Understanding this helped me release my sadness and frustration over being unable to “rescue” those that don’t want to be saved.

In verse 7, the man responds to Jesus by making excuses for himself. The man states that he has no one to help him into the pool when the water is stirred and that when he is trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of him. In network marketing, we hear the same excuses all the time. I don’t have the money to get started; I don’t have the time to apply to building a business. Though in some circumstances these excuses may be real, if someone believes that what you are offering is the solution they have been searching for, they may be making these excuses because they don’t WANT to get well.

Moving on, in verse 8 Jesus said to the man, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk. And in verse 9 we learn that the man was cured; and he picked up his mat and walked.” What I find interesting is that nowhere does it say that Jesus touched him or that the man sat in the pool, the verse only states that Jesus told him to get up. The “getting up” is symbolic of the man “taking action”, that he was immediately cured, symbolizes that the man knew what to do and always had the power to heal himself, he just needed to decide that he wanted to get well.

Since I have truly embraced the saying, “you can’t help those unwilling to help themselves”, I have found new inner peace. No longer do I get as upset or frustrated when someone I truly care for chooses not to take the necessary actions to remove themselves from their current situation. I hope that sharing this story will help you as well.

What is Wisdom and Why We Should Seek it

012015wisdom_timFor those of you that are close to me, you know that my faith is a work in progress. Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend about a controversial political topic that also included Jesus. While I never saw the post, discussing the topic with my friend was very interesting. That conversation combined with a project that I am working on, lead me to google, where I stumbled on this sermon from 35 years ago. Whether you are like me and searching for “happiness”, a follower of Jesus or maybe you aren’t quite sure what you believe, I think this is definitely something worth checking out. I hope you find value in it.



I once read that you know when you are old, because you start to talk about all the things that you have done rather than all the things that you are going to do in your life.

Recently, I was at a Tony Robbins event when I heard him say that everything in life, your business, your health, your bank account, your relationships, EVERYTHING, is either growing or it is dying. If you are not getting healthier you are getting unhealthier, if your business is not growing it is shrinking, if you’re not growing with your partner, you’re growing apart. The adjustments may be slight but none the less, its happening. It’s a pretty easy concept to understand but it was a real eye opener for me.

That leads me to today’s topic on potential.

Definition of potential

  1. 1:  existing in possibility :  capable of development into actuality

Has anyone ever told you that you “have potential” or that “you’ve reached your potential”? How the word potential makes you feel, is truly open to your own interpretation of the word.

To some, saying that you “have potential”, may be a slap in the face. They may feel that “having potential”, means that they are not “good enough” and all that they have already accomplished or become in their life is meaningless.

For others, saying that you “have potential”, means that they are close but not quite there yet. It means that they are lacking a necessary skill, resource or idea in order to reach their fullest potential. Once they obtain what it is they lack, they will get to the end goal and reach their fullest potential!

For me, reaching my fullest potential would be a HORRIBLE thing. It would mean that I have achieved all that I am capable of doing. There would be nothing more that I could do. I couldn’t be a better person, partner, father, friend, writer, coach or business person. It would mean that I could no longer grow. It would mean that I would have to stop talking and dreaming about all that there is left to do in my life and begin talking only about what I had done. In essence, I would begin to die, to get old.

Here’s the bottom line. We are all entitled to feel and react the way that we want to when someone tells us that we have potential. With that said, I hope that next time someone tells you that you “have potential”, what you really hear is that you are an incredible person with a life full unlimited possibilities. I hope that you hear that the person telling you that you “have potential” believes in you and sees something in you that you may not see in yourself.  If you have “potential” the world is yours for the taking because having potential means that ANYTHING is possible!


I hope that you have a day filled with unlimited potential.


Be Prepared

I found this article this morning while doing a little research.  The author does a good job of clarifying what to expect when reaching for a goal. I hope that you enjoy it


Have a great day!

New Year, Same Old Resolution


It’s crazy to think that we have already reached the end of 2016. For me, 2016 was a year  full of change. None bigger than selling my house and leaving my hometown of 45 years. I certainly don’t feel like 2016 was a failure, but in the same respect, I don’t think that I accomplished all that I set out to do. Unfortunately, I think that falling short of my New Years goals has become a standard part of setting those goals in the first place.

So this year, as I read my friends’ New Years Goals on Facebook, I can’t help but wonder if they feel the same way that I do. Do they really think that this year will be different or are they simply making a resolution or setting a goal, because it’s the new year, and that’s just what we do?

I want this year to be different. For too many years to count, my number one goal has been to improve my physical health and lose weight and for too many years, I have failed. One year I came very close to reaching my goal. A couple months ago I came across my before and after pictures from that year, seeing them again after 6 years, is all the prof  I needed to understand the importance of perspective and attitude when it comes to losing weight and getting fit. That year, I lost 45lbs and was in the best physical condition of my life. Unfortunately, my goal was 50 lbs. My unrealistic expectations created frustration and ultimately lead to my failure. Over the next 6 years, I have put all the weight back on and may have even added a few more.

Getting and staying healthy is no longer just about looking good. The simple truth is that I no longer have a choice. This year I will be turning 46 and with a family history of heart disease, losing weight and KEEPING it off, could potentially be a matter of life or death.

If you feel the same way and are looking for some extra motivation to keep you on track for the next 90 days, contact me and I will fill you in on how you can win $25,000 for all your hard work.

If not, just remember to keep your expectations realistic and be grateful for any and all progress that you make along the way.

Happy New Year!

Kevin 414-322-7483